Things I Like

I like when you put your arm on the table, perpendicular to your body, and then you arch your shoulder juuuust the right way, and you make a really deep crater with your armpit. Try it sometime.

Or, better yet, the next time you hang with me, I can do a demonstration/tutorial. I'm cool with people touching my pits. Actually, I think it would be awesome because I paid thousands of dollars to have my Jewish armpits lasered and I want people to be able to appreciate how hairless they are as much as I do.

What? I'm not weird. You are.