Answered

Me: Two questions.

God: OK.

Me: Have you ever thought that there was a grain of quinoa on your finger from dinner, and then ate it, and then realized it was a booger because you can pick your nose anywhere you want because you live alone, and then spit it out and then spend ten minutes on your hands and knees looking for the booger you almost ate?

God: No.

Me: Good. That would be gross.

God: You had another question?

Me: Why am I single?