Somehow We Are Related
I recently told my brother about the mysterious joy that is Fage 0% yogurt. In case you haven't heard about it yet, it's basically the best tasting yogurt in the whole world and it has like 90 calories per gallon. Ok, that's might be a slight exaggeration, but that shit is low in calories.
It looks innocent and plain, but, let me tell you, it is anything but. I knew my bro would like it, and I was excited when he texted me a few days later.
Jesus this yogurt is like cream cheese
Even though it had been awhile and there was pretty much no context to the message, I've had lots of practice communicating with the younger one and I understood that he had purchased the Fage and was quite enjoying it. I was in class, so I did not respond. Then I forgot about it and never texted back.
The next day I received another text from lil' b, again with no context.
I don't understand how Dannon and Yoplait are still in business
I puzzled over this one for a minute, but then realized that we had not shifted gears from our text conversation of the previous day. I thought about my brother, and that he must be standing in front of his open fridge, spooning cold yogurt into his mouth, and I became worried that he would overdo it and stop liking the best yogurt ever in the whole world. So, I texted him a meal idea:
i love it like this: half a banana, sliced at the bottom of a bowl...half a cup of fage...two tblspns of granola...a drizzle of honey...mmmmmm
Hours later, I received this response (in three parts because it was so long):
Jesus you work so hard at this stuff. My recipe, absently open fridge when subconscious is hungry, see yogurt, spoon finds hand and two scoops. NOMNOMNOM. now mouth is cold, eat fistful granola, better but plain, needs sweet, dribble honey in mouth, oh no it's too good can't stop! Mouth too sweet now. Finish with banana to neutralize excess honey and belly is happy and slightly hurting a little from being content. Snacktime is complete
I love my brother, even if he deserves to be fat, but isn't.
It looks innocent and plain, but, let me tell you, it is anything but. I knew my bro would like it, and I was excited when he texted me a few days later.
Jesus this yogurt is like cream cheese
Even though it had been awhile and there was pretty much no context to the message, I've had lots of practice communicating with the younger one and I understood that he had purchased the Fage and was quite enjoying it. I was in class, so I did not respond. Then I forgot about it and never texted back.
The next day I received another text from lil' b, again with no context.
I don't understand how Dannon and Yoplait are still in business
I puzzled over this one for a minute, but then realized that we had not shifted gears from our text conversation of the previous day. I thought about my brother, and that he must be standing in front of his open fridge, spooning cold yogurt into his mouth, and I became worried that he would overdo it and stop liking the best yogurt ever in the whole world. So, I texted him a meal idea:
i love it like this: half a banana, sliced at the bottom of a bowl...half a cup of fage...two tblspns of granola...a drizzle of honey...mmmmmm
Hours later, I received this response (in three parts because it was so long):
Jesus you work so hard at this stuff. My recipe, absently open fridge when subconscious is hungry, see yogurt, spoon finds hand and two scoops. NOMNOMNOM. now mouth is cold, eat fistful granola, better but plain, needs sweet, dribble honey in mouth, oh no it's too good can't stop! Mouth too sweet now. Finish with banana to neutralize excess honey and belly is happy and slightly hurting a little from being content. Snacktime is complete
I love my brother, even if he deserves to be fat, but isn't.
posted by Melanie Kameko at
7:55 PM
2 Comments:
0%? I definitely bought the whole milk version.
I bought the 2% version and it's good too! I like it better than the 0% - more protein, and not much more in calories or fat.
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